A letter to my younger brother – it was not your fault!

May 24 2016

Hey Bro

I seem to having a better time with things at the moment, the drugs are doing a good job in keeping everything operating and I am feeling pretty good again.

I had an appt. with JB this morning to get scripts etc for the next month. Bloody hell! another $300.00!!,

Many of the drugs I need are not on PBS. I am bloody grateful many others are, but still the cost hurts.

I remember a little while ago; we were chatting and I said I was getting up to when you were born in my “stop – start” book.

“That’s when things all went to Shit” was your curt reply.

I hate to tell you this Bro, but there is a certain amount of truth in what you said, but; don’t take it too personally.

Things at home had been going downhill for a while before you came on the scene but looking back, I think it is pretty clear, your arrival triggered what we would now call Post Natal Depression in Mum.

Nobody knew anything about this at the time and people were meant to “just get over it”; a bit easier said than done. I know she went to the Doctor at one point, for her “nerves” and he recommended she take up smoking!!

I was almost four years old, and to be honest; it felt like I had gained a brother but lost a mother

Mum had help in the house by the time you came along, but these girls usually did not stay for long.

Tensions were rising and it was probably not the greatest place for someone on a working holiday from England, New Zealand, or in one case; Germany to spend their time, making it hard for us kids to form an attachment with these people.

My way of dealing with things, was to retreat more into the imaginary world of Bill Wilson and trying to stay out of everybody’s sight; it was safer that way.

Understanding what was happening at the time is great and I am really pleased I have embarked on this journey, but it did not make it any easier at the time for any of us kids.

In those days, if you were sick; it meant you had a cold, measles or; had broken a bone! Mental illness was unheard of, so how we were we as kids meant to understand what was happening?

I hope I was a good elder brother to you, but in truth I was probably not.

I Love you now though Bro.



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