It was great to see you today, it is really hard for me to overestimate your role in my life over the past five years.
I remember the day in 2011 when I was at John’s surgery for a normal check-up, he noticed I was a bit off and, asked me what was wrong?
I told him I was just feeling a bit down, things seemed to be fading fast at that time and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed about the whole prospect of my pretty dim future.
He started talking about anti-depressants and we had the closest thing to an argument we have ever had in the whole ten years or so he has been my GP.
I tried to explain I was not depressed, but I thought It would be quite strange if someone in my position did not have the occasional bad day.
In the end, he said “I will do a deal with you”.
Now; doing a deal with your Doctor, is I suppose; slightly above doing a deal with the Devil and I was intrigued.
“What’s the Deal?”
“I will never mention anti-depressants again, if you agree to see this lady”
“Who is this Lady?”
“She is a Psychologist doing very good work with several of my patients”
I thought for half a second and replied “John, that is a no brainer, I am a Real Estate Agent; talking about myself for an hour, would be Heaven on a Stick!”
That conversation started the relationship I have had with you over the past few years; it is a relationship that has spanned many themes, most importantly, being; learning to live in, and enjoy the present.
You have been the person I could speak honestly with and have no fear that you would judge the people around me, as I aired my frustrations with their inability to understand or cope with what is happening to me. It is though you, I have learned it is the people who love and support you, that have the hardest job when it comes to dealing with seeing someone they love, go slowly downhill
I went to see you today with instructions from Billy to tell you about my lack of patience and anger at not getting my own way! In your own dogged way, you told me, I was being a prick.
Of course that is not what I told Billy afterwards, I told him; you thought I was being totally reasonable!
Deep down, I think we all know, I fear the degeneration of the mind more than anything else in the whole catalogue of unpleasant things that are likely to happen to me.
Your dispassionate but caring advice makes this thing, so much easier to bear.