Back to work and thoughts of kids

Hi Sas

It was October 1975 and somehow it was easier to settle back into a regular life than either of us thought possible.

You went back to your work and were immediately as busy as ever, my work was a bit tougher because I had lost some of the client base I had left behind and it was to take some time before I was making significant sales again, but they did start to happen after a while.

We were excited by the prospect of building a new house and would go out in the evening to look at the site and talk with Brian about the plans.

Over the next 18 months we would renew friendships, make new friends and settle into the new house with plans for a family.

The heartbreak of losing a child early in your first pregnancy is something we would share and there were many tears shed at the time, but soon hope and optimism would re surface.

I remember the day we were laying sleepers for a terraced garden at the front of the new house and you lost your temper with me as I was being pedantic about getting things perfectly straight.

I saw you pick up the large ball of string wound around a hard cardboard runner and the next thing I knew I was coming groggily back to consciousness; your throw had been a bit too accurate and it had hit me squarely in the temple.

The sight of your devastated face as you knelt over me was too good to resist so I played it for all it was worth, until you went screaming to Jim and Barb next door; “I think I have killed him”.

It was time for me to stop acting and we kissed and made up, at least it got me out of gardening for the rest of the afternoon. From memory, Ossie and I finished it off a week or so later, when he and Esme were visiting from Canberra for the weekend. There were no arguments about the garden, when your father was around, that was very definitely his realm and I did as I was told.

Relationships with my father and mother were the best I had ever had, the ongoing treatment and pain for mum had mellowed their bitterness with each other, your closeness to Dad was certainly a factor, I think also there was a certain amount of pride that we were making our own way in life and most of the old animosities had dissipated.

These two years were good times, they were sometimes marred by arguments as my old demons would surface and I would resent the confinement of marriage but there was never a thought at least from my side that I would truly have wished to be anywhere or anyone else.

I was becoming involved in local organizations such as Apex and our base of friends was expanding, there were times when I wished you could have been more outgoing, but in reality; I was only looking for you to make up for my deficiencies when it came to social graces.

In many ways and for very different reasons, I think we were both a bit intimidated by the circumstances and the people we were mixing with. Your basic shyness held you back at times and my demons were boiling under the surface.

Overall it didn’t matter, we had enough good friends to spend relaxed time with and we were happy when we were just together, the two of us.

In late 1976 we found you were pregnant again and despite the heartbreak of before, we dared to hope for a healthy happy baby.

Our joy was shared by family and friends and life was good

With Love

Bruce

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