Family Matters

Hi Sas

1990 was a year of change and disruption for the family, I was living in Melbourne but was in Sydney as often as I could be.

Weekends with you and the kids in Sydney were treasured times and often, during the week when I was here I would find the time for a stolen dinner with you all.

The kids had great delight in informing me of your rare ventures onto the dating scene, these were complete with descriptions of the shortcomings and attractions of anyone unfortunate enough, to be subjected to the harsh scrutiny of these little gatekeepers.

Kevin and I had been to Sydney for a long weekend, giving you the opportunity to finally meet “Donna” LOL.

It had not been a great visit for a whole host of reasons, there were awkward moments, as the kids struggled to understand the status of this interloper into our tight family group and it was hard for Kevin to fit in.

I struggled with the conflicting demands of lover, father and friend to you.

I wondered at times, whether the decision not to tell the kids until they were older, was only delaying the inevitable and making life more difficult, but we had jointly decided on this path and I think in the long run it would prove to be the better of the options.

Melbourne was giving me the opportunity to find a place in the new world I was traversing. I think you too, were finding it easier to forge a new path with both the kids and your new life while I was out of the way.

This struggle between what we had been and where we were heading, would prove to be a tortuous and winding path, but in the main; I think and hope we negotiated the pitfalls better than most and certainly as well we could.

I am proud of that, and I am humbled by the unwavering support, you never flinched from giving me, that meant the world to me.

Honesty can be a very lonely bedfellow, there were many times in Melbourne, alone in my new world, when I deeply missed and cried for, the companionship, you and I had shared over many years, the friendship, the counsel and the love.

I had been in Canberra during the year and I called in to see your Mum and Dad. They welcomed me as I knew they would, as I drove away that day I was even more conscious of the innate goodness of these simple, wonderful people.

Christmas 1990 was spent together in Sydney with the kids, anyone looking from the outside, would have seen a happy family at play and on holidays.

Going back to Melbourne after this time with the family, was tougher than I could have imagined. It took weeks of the psychological treatment that only sharing good reds with good friends can deliver, before I again felt comfortable in my new life.

Sas, neither of us chose the path we were now taking. All we could do was try to unite our past with our future.

We were doing this blindly but; we were doing it with love and goodwill, those twin tenets have never failed us.




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